Hay y’all whats good? So I came across this post on Facebook recently talking about married men who want to date single girls and have the nerve to accuse them of being too materialistic, when they demand for money in exchange for the love and I hollered, I laughed so hard, I laughed in past tense because it brought to mind a certain incident , something from the past, something that happened to y’all girl.

I cant remember the year exactly , maybe 2011/2012, I’m not sure again but I was on Facebook chatting and making friends with the literati community, there was this white guy on there, quite popular with the Lagos/ Nigeria online community, he hit me up in the DM, we got chatting more, he told me he was coming into Lagos from Abuja, spend the night in Lagos and then off to UK the next day, he was staying at a hotel close to my office and would love to meet and chat more in person if I was available.

I was available and so we met after work, we talked about so many things, politics, Nigerian youths, family, dating, he casually mentioned to me that he was married, his family lived in the UK , I internally raised my brows but didn’t say nothing because the conversation was good and casual and nothing untoward or suggestive. After a cool evening hang out, I left and went home. I got a message later that said he had a great time with me, he was so impressed, I was so beautiful , he wanted to kiss me badly. That last line was so unexpected, so out of the blues, I didn’t see it coming , there was nothing about the night that suggested it. I didn’t say nothing, I ignored that last part and replied that I had a great time too and safe journey the next day.

Fast forward to weeks later, this was the blackberry days, I got a ping from Whitey, saying he was back in the country and would be coming into Lagos from Abuja and would love to meet again, this time he would love for me to spend the night so he can give me a good massage, love me from head to toe bla bla bla, he was really detailed about what he would love to do to and with me, I was shocked, hella shocked, I took a moment to read and reread the message again, paused, showed the message to my friend and then replied;

I said ” how much? “


Hahahaha, I dont think he ever expected that level of forthrightness from calm, decent, soft spoken me, hehehe. After a while, he replied to say he wasn’t into transactional relationship, he didn’t think I was that kind of girl , he doesn’t indulge in such , bla bla bla, I didn’t even bother to reply him.

Honestly ehn, the audacity of men, they have no qualms letting you know what they want but they expect you to be hypocritical in your own demands, this is a married man who wants to do things to me in exchange for what? What sort of girl sleeps with a married guy they met once on the second encounter? A decent one? The hypocrisy is on another level , I cant even count the number of married men who wanted a “relationship” with me, lmao, that lagos is a crazy place and the men there have no chill, they play on the psyche of the woman, the fact that society raises the woman to be modest, to be shy, to swallow her tongue, not be materialistic , to be a “good” woman.

Dear single woman/ girl, I am not here to judge your choices, I will ask you to be intentional about your relationships, men are very direct and intentional about their wants and how they go about achieving it, don’t be stupid, don’t go having a love relationship with a married man, if you must, I do not advise it but if you must, shine your eyes, open your mouth and ask, demand and collect all the material / money things okayyy, live that baby girl life to the max, extra marital affairs don’t and shouldn’t come cheap, don’t fall for any sob story, if he loves you let him prove it, let him leave madam and children, lmao.

I’m wearing

Pants – HM

Faux Leather Jacket – HM

Published by nelo

Hey , I'm Nelo, a bit of an introvert, with a unique view of life, attracted to people with a strong sense of self, may not always agree with them but will always respect and admire individuality. I'm a millennial mom, love fashion, love to good on a budget and this space will be all about me, my style, my thoughts on trending topics and how I navigate my daily life as a full time mom. I hope you will enjoy coming on this journey with me by hitting that follow button.

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